A satirical guide for aspiring pro athletes, packed with crude humor and sports culture jabs.
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Owned
A satirical guide for aspiring pro athletes, packed with crude humor and sports culture jabs.
About
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This will be the very last book you ever read. Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment.
What's Inside
will contain mild spoilers
Sexual content
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Frequent explicit references to sex, orgies, and strippers; central to humor.
Violence & gore
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Brief mentions of sports-related injuries; not graphic.
Profanity
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Extremely frequent and severe profanity; pervasive in tone.
Substance use
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References to steroids and amphetamines in sports; often glamorized.
LGBTQ+ Rep.
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Mentions of gay jokes; not positive representation.
Religious content
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No religious themes present.
Witchcraft / occult
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No occult or magical content.
Political content
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Light critique of sports media and culture; not central.
Self-harm / suicide
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No self-harm or suicide content.
Sexual assault
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References to rape jokes; noted as offensive by some readers.
Abuse & suffering
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Brief mentions of hazing in sports; not detailed.
User-added ⚠️
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No information found.